tEnNis!: May 2012

play around with the bounceicles. drag them round. jump on them. and more!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

oh yeah i forgot to post some pictures! haven't been doing that for awhile! am such a lazy bugger ):

a cute jesse by the streets

watching war horse with macs =.=

lunch with classmates at chancellors

the sun comes out and everybody does, contrast to singapore =.=

great britain m&m =.=

pole dancing club just made =.=

can't remember but this was lunch for someday

lunch! trying t clear my cupboard

full english breakfast at chancellors with classmates

half price star bucks frap thanks to the queen!

i can't remember the name but its lamb and fries =.= kebab?

cute jess, imy

Signing off, mun.

...

hey everybody!

so nothing much lately! really! been watching glee and thats about it! just had 20 minutes of english class and we're free for the day.. =.= maybe i'd go catch a movie or something! hahaha

oh btw my friend's dad saw a dead body hanging from the tree ): its in the news :\ omg so scary!

okay nothing much to say because nothing is happening! i don't think I'm going back in june because I'm spending too much money! really really miss jesse ): trying not to think about it! end of terms coming up, still slacking!walls too thin but i really need to sing! it gets a whole load out of my system to scream at the top of your lungs sometimes! makes you feel better!

so I'm eating porridge and bread and pears everyday and I'm really happy about it because its so nice :D don have to have a good meal from outside! just simple nice meal! had some bread with butter and sugar! childhood food! love it :D

Signing off, mun.

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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

aish bored! more of tired actually!

lesson soon! gotta meet supervisor for feedback on PT! hate extra stuff yknow! like they take away your breaks! anyway had vb and tennis yesterday, was so freaking tired really need to get more sleep her!

so yesterday i had an impulse again and bought some stuff online=.= not some, a lot! so lets just say that I'm gonna ban myself from spending any money for awhile! or at least if i can help it! like maybe just buy some milk! agh feel so bad ):

aching everywhere anyway ): agh

Signing off, mun.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

omg did i mention??????????

DIANNA AGRON IS IN LONDON! HELLOOOO I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE IS IM SO FRUSTRATED !!!!! )': THIS'LL BE THE CLOSEST I GET TO HER/THE BEST CHANCE BUT IDK WHERE SHE IS ): OHHHH GOD I'm so sad ):

Signing off, mun.

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oh forgot to mention! feeling abit awkz lately! like don't really know what to talk about, don't really know what to say, not trying to initiate more conversations! not like i don't want to i just didnt! o.o ahwells

Signing off, mun.

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gah so frustrated!

bought an US iTunes gift card online and i can't create a US iTunes account to use it ): whatttttt waste money! gotta find some solution oh sian!

anyway was dead tired and aching all over today. and then just as lucky as i am we had once in a lifetime PT during tennis today! actually the PT was kinda easy but i was aching and not say very fit so it was not as easy as it would be =.= damn those aches.

still smelly, too tired to go bathe =.= aghh!!! haven't done chem homework! i think dianna argon is having a little holiday in london now and i am dying to know where she is ): really wanna go get a autograph ): ): ): but knowing my luck..well! DUH you think i'd be that lucky?! =.=

fat hope!! ):

Signing off, mun.

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Monday, May 21, 2012

okay so im knackered again =.=

went for social tennis today, then volleyball! figured i kinda want to improve and since I'm the stupid treasurer i should do something more ugh ): jammed thumbs still not totally okay yet! kinda have a little phobia of setting =.= i suck at it anyway! don't feel much connection to the volleyball although its 10 times bigger than tennis one

today tennis played like crap though! but met a kinda nice guy! walked home together! volleyball...well, i never really play well! feel kinda sian when i let down the team! ): now i see thats the bad thing about team sports! so i had 4h of sports today! tmr theres 3! and I'm still aching from horse riding! ahh....

Signing off, mun.

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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

hai everybody

so today was okay! waiting for the stupid ANTM to load now because the internet gets really slow at night D<

anyway, tuesdays are usually the most tiring days! and today was more so because there was committee training! so had 2h chem, got back mid terms with was 72% =.= crap! rushed home to watch glee with ttw! and ate potatoes which i baked in the morning for lunch!haha really excited for the next episode man! we're behind trying not to rush but still so excited! then went for applied math, oh got back marks yesterday! got 92%! crap again!=.= then 1h english! which we did some listening exercise! then went back home, ate some donuts! well not really because i only ate the chocolate part in the centre ): waste foo d bad mun!

then went for committee training! was totally lost because there were so many people and i only knew a few! even those from tennis I'm not even close to, and I'm going there for vb =.= so didnt try to hang out with them ._. not till i feel accepted yet ): haish hate this! but found rasha! who is my classmate! i think her name is rasha =.= haha from kuwait i think! but blue eyes! always found it funny that middle east people had colored eyes....because yknow our impression was always like dark features and everything.

so we hung out together! and didnt know what was going on half the time so we're like whatever! then went for 2 talks! so total it took 3h? supposed to be 4 but you don't have to go for all the sessions! then refreshments after that but we were so hungry so we just went back =.= bought a sandwich at the store then walked to tesco!

had to go tesco although i was so tired because i ran out of toothpaste =.= and milk and juice of course! trying to finish everything in my kitchen now because i always feel like its kinda crowded =.= so forcing myself to finish everything first before buying more! stupid bad habit, just like dodo!

anyway feeling really fatigued after vb and tennis training yesterday! i kinda like this feeling though! idk why! haha its a good tired! easier to sleep, easier to relax, like when you stretch your legs the blood rushes to soothe the achy feeling! also feel like food is digesting faster? ah idk nice feeling, better than normal sometimes! ask sports people heh XD

crap its loading so slowly UGHHH

Signing off, mun.

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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

so i think i kinda jammed both my thumbs during vb! left one like twice? oh gosh so annoying! and bruised/scraped my knee! vb was terrible today. got elected as treasurer when i don't know anybody in the club...? i don't realy wanna do it but they were so desperate and they were all pushing me! ): shit have to go for committee training now! i really hope the commitment isn't a lot because i really don't think my heart is near volleyball ._. all still on tennis! the sports i grew up with and had the best times of my life with!

chill in by the lake thinking of stuffs

mcdonalds after so long before horse riding!

my face is like a perfect square ):

my horse <3

colors ball!

tennis table (:

omg this was so disgusting

cute jesss

ultimate platter for lunch today!

my pasta for lunch today!

full lunch so i just ate grapes thats all! but lunch was so good!

shucks what have i got myself into ): haiz

Signing off, mun.

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Sunday, May 13, 2012

woo! first formal party!

was so not looking forward to colors ball but bit my tongue and went anyway! wore a like real dress for the first time..not the stupid cheating one i wore in graces. and wore like 2 inch heels or something too, which were too big but i managed to walk at least like 1km+ in it! wore make up too! which i did myself wow mun (y) anyhow tikam but its better than nothing lol! so many firsts! oh! plus stockings too.

my god thats a huge step. never really mind wearing all these as long as it looks okay but i don't think it did! gonna get rid of all the pictures soon i hope! so embarrassing! ): but still,didnt really talk much to the rest although i wanted to! its just...idk what to talk about! ): sigh....

oh girls team captain was bait drunk and got in a argument with the president! kinda spilt wine on me =.= but got kicked out! first time i see so many people get kicked out! and glasses breaking every 5 minutes! lol! new experience! kinda wanted to go clubbing with them but ali wasn't going so maybe not!

so I'm back here, so exhausted. but at least i went through it (y)!

Signing off, mun.

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Friday, May 11, 2012

I'm looking at all the pictures on the wall and I'm like...i wanna go back to that happy place again. ): ): i hate this feeling!!!!! idk what everybody's thinking about now ): ah ):

Signing off, mun.

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actually i feel bad towards jesse! first few years of her life and I'm not there with her. >.< keep thinking after all this is over i can go back in august and spend time with her. but i realize i have to keep coming back here.

can't she just follow me??? haish

Signing off, mun.

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Thursday, May 10, 2012

irritating. don't like the way you think, the way you think things are when it is actually not. how you think you understand me but you don't. everything you say to try to persuade me - i do not care about. things i can discuss with you but some things you say irritates me. having to explain and repeat everything i say again is not fun, it pisses me off so bad man. telling me what i already know and what you think it is, but its not, pisses me off too. ugh everything pisses me off, so frustrating...

i know you think for me but you and i have this problem which is not.listening.to.each.other. i have my reasons for that.and i don't know how someone can rub another person the wrong way all the time and not know it. I'm sensitive to certain topics but you just keep saying it, which causes the opposite effect you wanted. and I'm like...i hate explaining, so i just dont say anything.

ugh. I'm gonna start consider locking this blog soon

Signing off, mun.

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the pears i love so much..!

baked baby potatoes :D

baked blueberry cupcakes!

so today was chem mid term! knew most of the questions so should be okay i hope XD then had salad for lunch! actually had quite a variety of things? like a small bowl of salad, a piece of bread with ham and some baby potatoes! sounds like a lot but i ate petite amounts of it! then went for lab, came back did laundry, walked to tesco with luffy again! felt like doing some exercise!

so theres english mid term tmr! still 1/4 through the text because i went to tesco, kinda lazy to bathe now! my room is really hot so i opened the window, and welcomed the bugs who are flying around. D< UGH

still stressed about colors ball =.= really really don't wanna go now ._. don't feel ready for it! sian! was thinking maybe because this term i don't really have something to look forward to thats why i feel lost? i know i booked a ticket home in june alr! but idk...i don't wanna waste money, thats the thing I'm worried about!

don't feel like I'm talking to friends back home as much this term ): sucks so bad )': and its only gonna get worst need i remind myself! its only like may and theres hardly any communication, i don't even wanna imagine the rest of the year! ._. now do people see what i mean when i say 'losing friends'? its not literally but its almost as good as to me! I'm sucha stick-to-old-friends person ): nobody else to complain to but here =.= but i keep reminding myself to be understanding anyway. not working as much

anyway on a happier note, finally booked a horse riding session :D gonna go on friday with ada and nicole! its 45min! cheap for a horse riding lesson! agh so excited :D love animals yknow! just love being with them! it calms me down/gets me excited in the good ways!

oh jesse jesse hope you don't forget me! ._.

Signing off, mun.

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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

morningz everybody!

so theres chemistry mid term later! its not counted but its a indication of progress! studied a little but not so much! :S eeeesh! anyway i keep worrying about colors ball! ): shucks. keep thinking of skipping i! ah idk!

so nothings up now! went to tesco with luffy yesterday! first time we went out this term! lol yeah this term everybody is just all over the place! it feels so messy! like last time all i was looking at was going home! and this term I'm not so sure, so maybe I'm feeling kinda lost! or maybe I'm afraid if what i did last term, which was being happy and crazy all the time, then time will pass as slowly as it did! because this term seems to be passing faster!

ah i miss jesse! ): for the 100th time i wish she could be here with me! imma keep complaining about that hahaha

Signing off, mun.

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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

morningz!

woke up early today! have been sleeping at around 11,11+! thats good i think! (: and waking up around 8! i like it that way! the earlier the better! sleeping is good right. anyway stuck listening to glee's whitney episode! haha its nice! can't wait for this weeks prom one! anyway went fort vb yesterday and having sore hands now, but i kinda like it! hahaha

oh yeah glee is gonna finish season 3 ): so sad a lot of characters is gonna leave ): ahwells! whether to go back in june is still bugging me =.= i wanna go back because its their june hols too! but idk ._. agh agh still dk whether to go for colors ball too! ): so many things undecided!

cya guys soon! p.s aish miss eating ice cream on the porch with my bro and dad! ):

Signing off, mun.

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Monday, May 7, 2012

just gonna pen my thoughts down! >.<

so just had tennis gathering to choose the tennis committee! didnt run because i don't even know anybody well or feel comfortable yet! then went for a couple of drinks with some of them. which i didnt say anything at all! was just intently listening, i wanna say something so badly but i don't wanna interrupt them yknow! so i think i may have came off a bit odd, hopefully not ><

and then i came home and then my old team was on whatsapp talking and stuff, and getting ready for next monday's match!

and so i can't help feeling terrible yknow..! I'm neither here nor there. i didnt experience the whole heartwarming experience they seem to have gone through together, nor am i having a good time in the current team! neither here nor there hurts, i don't know where i belong! i don't feel part of the old team because idk whats happening, i don't talk to them often,don't see things happening! and for the team here, the people, culture and everything is so different its gonna take a long time to get used to! i can wait but right now being in the middle sucks is all i wanna say!

no sense of belonging )': feel more distant than ever to friends back home! and everybody's too busy to talk to i feel kinda neglected! or forgotten! or "i don't have time for you!" i know its probably not the case but, it just sucks ): part and parcel of life or just my bad luck I'm overseas before everyone? yah neglected is how i feel? not all the times but sometimes! kinda scared to admit it! anyway everybody busy and it'll only get worst so gotta not think that way i guess! i know some still care!

but at this depressing point i think of jesse and if she's here with me, everything will be so much easier. aish....

Signing off, mun.

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hey there!!!!

so i found out glee is doing what makes you beautiful during the episode this week! STOKED! :D

hahah today dent do much! slept at 11+ last night, woke up at 9! dreamt that voldy was chasing me and got laughed at by all my friends! woke up, made scrambled eggs for breakfast, which i haven't earn for so long!!! haha (: think imma eat that for breakfast tmr morning! (: then felt nice so i went to wash most of the dishes =.=

then stoned awhile, till 11+ and then started cooking lunch! LOL imma pig thats right! anyway cooked pineapple rice again because the stupid pineapple in a box is gonna expire! so just cooked! really nice :D omg can't stand how nice it is!!!! thanks to chef mun! lol okay anyway then finished cooking around 12? ate a small bowl! then rushed off to training! training was boring today, didnt really feel like moving much! we played matches though!

then went home, ate second part of lunch! lol! shit i sound like i have been eating the whole day! anyway then did spring cleaning! then laxed abit, ate cherry tomatoes,grapes and a soft pear which i was so happy with for dinner! HAHAHA it was like...omg it IS the pear that i have been looking for! imma buy more of that tmr!

used up most/all of my vegetables so tmr go grocery shopping YYAYY :D first gotta wake at 7 to watch glee with the stupid ttw! lol! anyway i have been going to tesco everyday... =.= yep everyday...mainly to get a good walk? when i wanna go for a walk but have no idea where to go, i usually don't walk far! anyway i needed milk and orange juice so just went there to get some! bet my housemates think I'm mad go tesco everyday ):

haha gonna try eating salad o.o never been much of a fan of it but it can taste really good! aka the one at SICC! must go back and eat it with moompe like i used to! but anyway i think today was kinda healthy! i think!

went to get a snack and found the triangle cow cheese in the fridge so i ate some! while eating i realized that i missed all the things i used to do as a child! like...all the stuff i used to do with my bro! like eating the triangle cow cheese together, the singles cheese as well! rabbit sweets, pocky sticks, ice cream, dinner, everything! idk but i always had this memory of having to give the bigger portion of anything we had together to my brother! which initially i hated but gave willingly anyway! then he started giving the bigger portions to me! of course all under our parent's directions but it still gives me this heartwarming feeling?

like i don't think about it but when i do, i realized i really love those moments where we used to share things, do things together, play, have meals, sleep, read, go to SICC, swim.. i don't have much memory but if we could still do that, i'd do it again! (: it was really really nice! maybe its all so distant because i don't have my house to remind me of anything now!

but i kinda wanna relive my childhood too! just miss the feeling of being intimate with my family! like now i don't really like it but i wished i did! i wished it wasn't as awkward if i tried to hug any of them! i say, its funny how i know how my brother feels sometimes without us even talking about it.we don't talk to each other but i understand him! yeah i do agree asian families kinda lack intimacy! its quite important to a certain extent but ahwells thats how it is!

miss having dinner with family too! on the dinner table together! I'm fine with eating alone, because it gives me power to decide my dinner and the time i eat it =.= and how much! but family dinner is nice! although i always avoid it for those reasons! =.=

haven't mentioned jess as much this time because I'm trying not to think of her! like its so sad i don't even wanna think about it. I'm kinda like a classic "i love you but I'm not gonna tell you, you have to see and feel it for yourself" person =.=i said that because i feel like i have to be there to show jesse how much i love her but i can't! ahwells okay don't think anymore

i feel that the skill i must master while I'm studying overseas is to force myself not to think.
ah blast.

Signing off, mun.

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Sunday, May 6, 2012

hiya!

cooked pineapple rice :D was good!

a squirrel that was eating the bread i gave the ducks!

the friendly cat that rubs itself against everybody and slept on my laundry bag..

bak ku teh and mee sua :D was nice!

so whassup! anyway i feel I've been kinda weird lately, not being myself, not really knowing how I'm supposed/want to act or whatever! its part of growing up is it? o.o idk anyway i feel like i can't really commit to things although i may want it! unless sometimes directs me to! for example tennis training! i may want to be good at it but i wouldn't have been if i wasn't forced to go all those trainings, and eventually committed 100%! other than that I'm just drifting around

so imma try to commit to something? like stop procrastinating on all the things i wanna do and just do it! first is the horse riding lesson, then its the french lesson yeah my aunt all suggest to take up some french! i mean learning a new language can't hurt right! then try to eat healthily? like normally! not weird meals and stuff!

small steps each time i guess? :\ i think all these spacing out on how i should act comes from watching too much dramas on the com! =.= agh! should stop!

okay so cook lunch most of the time, and eat properly. lets see how this works out :|

Signing off, mun.

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Friday, May 4, 2012

Actually I've been wondering, would people describe me as conservative now? i know people used to say that about me but now I'm not so sure! sometimes i can be really talkative and cheerful and initiative! but sometimes i just keep to myself and i can don't talk to people for quite awhile! so its kinda weird! depends on the people i guess! and my mood of course!

right now i feel like I'm detached from both sides, like I'm not talking as much to people back home, nor trying to talk to the people here! whereas last term it was the complete opposite! this term i spent more time with myself that anybody else! o.o

anyway, still trying to arrange horse riding, mid terms next week! gotta get past that! colors ball is also next week, and i totally do not feel like going! like putting make up,wearing heels and dresses for me? oh nonononono. if i know i'd look good i'd go! then again its 50 pounds, thats 100 bucks. so I'm torn ):

other than that, my chemistry needs some catching up to do! applied math is kinda okay, english is whatever i don't really care! maybe this whole stagnant attitude towards things will change when i get to uni? then there'll be new people are interesting classes! then again everything will be new and i hope i don't get discriminated or bullied! i mean even i discriminate my own race! oh man

trying to cook everyday too! today got kinda lazy! but i tend to be really hungry when i cook! so sometimes i'd try to rush things! =.= today i cooked bak ku teh with met sua, not bad! its the one with the packet one but still! can try laksa and chicken rice too but idk when! thinking since i probably have to move in either june or august, i should probably start using up all the stuff in the kitchen!

i feel like my dad too! dodo tend to buy a large variety of things and then all these just rot in the house! now i see i have that habit too! its kinda like wanting to have a certain type of food to be THERE and ready to eat when you feel like eating it! or sometimes you feel like eating something but only want a little but can't buy a little! so everything ends up piling and i don't wanna waste!

still can't decide if i should go home in june :|

anyway I've been crazy about the pastries here! and the breads omg it smells gorgeous! every time i pass by the bread section I'm like omg i need to buy that! its freshly made! so it really smells and tastes so good! i now we can all eat plain bread sometimes but this one i won't even feel tired! i think imma bring some home!

on a completely different note, i feel like I'm struggling to find myself now! what i want, what I'm supposed to do, what type of person am i, what type of person i wanna be, what i supposed to do now...all these i don't know! and then I'm also at this stage where i still feel like i don't wanna talk to my parents about some stuff, so sometimes they'll seem irritating. so I'm not doing anything to figure it out =.= oh gosh. ahwells

the less you talk the more you blog (y) oh man

Signing off, mun.

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Thursday, May 3, 2012

kinda depressed right now!

heard my team lost and I'm asking the whole world but nobody is replying me! i know they're all too sad to talk about it but i want more than anything in the world now to fly back and comfort them! and tell them that everything is fine!! or maybe make hoodies and send them home now so they can cheer up! but like I'm like totally detached i don't even know what happened, i haven't been talking to any of them or whatsoever! its just so sian because i still care and part of me is still with them! don't blame them though!

i know my team wouldn't have went down without a fight so no matter what i still love them to death! <3

Signing off, mun.

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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

so I've been crazy about ANTM and haven't got the chance to go crazy about it! so imma just post my favorite photos and contestants here (:

cycle 11 - analeigh