bored so I'm posting! nothing much! weather getting colder and all! doing more cooking! hmm listening to possible songs to cover and learning bg and thinking of arrangement! (: when I'm back of course! damn i still scared of singing loud here :\ and i keep getting bad dreams :\ hmmM! ah sian i keep complaining! =.= I KEEP COMPLAINING!! =.= think everybody is tired of it =.= shouldn't complain too much! maybe movie again this weekend o.o oh and I'm aching SO BAD I TELL YOU!!!! never thought i'd ache here =.=
oh I'm on search for nerd specs right now o.o can't really find! ._.
51 days ._. haiz
Signing off, mun.
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Wednesday, February 1, 2012
「 bouncing away 6:03 AM 」
hey everybody!
hmm recently, idk not much change! went for my first volleyball training! was really fun (: hahaha although I'm still really noob at it!! ahwells it takes practice! so now my hands are bruised and swollen and aching! and then i went for tennis today and then it was so freaking cold like 1 degrees and i think it dropped below zero after that! i couldn't feel my hands at all! so i couldn't toss the ball properly, racket kept twisting in my hand! o.o woah! anyway so now I'm aching all over the place! chem practical assessment tmr! ._.
anyway now I'm kinda trying to cook more because its healthier i guess! and it saves so much more money!!!! 52 days omg :\ at least tmr is january! but that means still got a whole months and 23 days to go ): CANT WAIT! everybody at home is kinda stressed and stuff and idk how to help :\ and i really really miss jesse! really miss her ):
and new j1s in! if i were still in school i wouldn't be too happy about it =.= idk just don't really like juniors coming in, crowds the school and all! ahwells okay hand aching too much! cya~
this one is rice with sprinkles and lettuce and egg! with campbell soup :D it was super yummy omg!
this is rice and sprinkles with baked beans!
i know my cooking may not look so nice but it really tastes nice haha (: as long as theres a taste of home! it feels better
Signing off, mun.
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Sunday, January 29, 2012
「 bouncing away 4:45 AM 」
Jet Lag - Simple Plan (ft. Natasha)
What time is it where you are? I miss you more than anything Back at home you feel so far Waitin' for the phone to ring It's gettin’ lonely livin’ upside down I don't even wanna be in this town Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy
You say good morning When it's midnight Going out of my head Alone in this bed I wake up to your sunset And it's driving me mad I miss you so bad And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
What time is it where you are? Five more days and I'll be home I keep your picture in my car I hate the thought of you alone I've been keepin' busy all the time Just to try to keep you off my mind Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin’ me crazy
You say good morning When it's midnight Going out of my head Alone in this bed I wake up to your sunset And it's drivin' me mad I miss you so bad And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Is so jet lagged
I miss you so bad [x5] I wanna share your horizon I miss you so bad And see the same sunrising I miss you so bad Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me.
You say good morning When it's midnight Going out of my head Alone in this bed I wake up to your sunset And it's drivin' me mad I miss when you say good morning But it's midnight Going out of my head Alone in this bed I wake up to your sunset And it's drivin' me mad I miss you so bad And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged Is so jetlagged Is so jetlagged
Signing off, mun.
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haiz miss friends in singapore so bad ): nobody will understand me like they do! i'll never have as much fun with anybody else. and i miss home so much, miss jesse so much! can't wait to go back and run into the arms of the people who i love!!! haiz ): i feel like here i so useless!
went out the town with classmates a few times these few days! but ah wells, so sian, wanna go home yknow, see the things that i used to see, do the things that i used to do, be with people who would only make me happy, comfortable! do things for people who i love, celebrate and have fun with people that I'm so used to! i keep reminding myself its only 14h apart! well it is, but this 14h doesnt mean i can see them anytime i want!
i wanna be able to go back and talk to jesse when I'm upset, spend time with her and tell her stuff that i can't tell anybody, or maybe just talk to her in my head cause i hate saying stuff out. idk, just be in my room, sing as loud as i want to, play music really loudest and dance around, play the drums when i want to, eat food that i love eating, feel the warm breeze and look at the trees swinging around my garden, sit on the porch with jesse and enjoy the breeze with her, play tennis and be able to feel my hands,serve properly without a jacket thats restricting me.
55 days to go.
mum keeps telling me i shouldn't hold on to my friends so much ! i know eventually we will drift and drift further and further but no matter how far i aint gonna let go of these friends even if they do!
i miss y'all so much )': i should just fly back every weekend! i don't like the new life here
Signing off, mun.
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012
「 bouncing away 7:02 AM 」
hey!!
omg im so freaing tired! i was on the courts for like 4h straight? 1.5h training, 1h running around picking balls and demonstrating in the beginner class o.o then 1.5h playing again! omg....my knees are like gone omg!! ): ITS BACK!! it got better and now its back! omg this sucks.
anyways i wanna thank my friends for the video they made me....it was...special..not good enough...mmm..it was just..the best! THE BEST!!!!! its like literally the best birthday present i had!!! its so touching omg! and special thanks to glendat who made the video! THANKS SO MUCH BUDDY!!! i know i don't say thanks enough...but thats cause i can't express how i feel into words! its just...the feeling is there and i wanna show it but i can't put it in words i'd show it in action! ah y'all know that!
i actually made a video to give them, to say thanks! but now I'm kinda too embarrassed to show it to them so i guess we're scraping the idea =.= hhaha. oh btw yesterday on fb i saw this oreo add of a little girl sky ping with her dad and eating oreos! :D with milk together! so i asked glendas grace and shannon to eat oreos with mik with me on sat night :D hehehe looking forward to that!
the bread here doenst last..i guess cause its fresh? so like it only lasts for 2 days max! =.= so i can't finish and I'm gonna feed it to the ducks tmr cause it expired =.=okay I'm so tired!!
Signing off, mun.
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Saturday, January 21, 2012
「 bouncing away 6:36 AM 」
today was like the worst day ever
had dreams of home again and woke a few times, then woke at 9. then dressed up to go library to find classmates which i couldn't find. walked around for 15 min mindlessly and then went to collect jesse's clothes. Then went to collect NUS card, then went back. nothing to do! stone and stone then went to the lake, thought of studying there, so i went back to get work. then went there, then too cold, so went back, take clothes, bought sandwich, then went there and ended up feeding the ducks instead, which was like the best part. but all the time i felt so lonely.like nobody to be with me and share the nice and horrible stuff with, only on whatsapp, which like isn't enough. i like haven't said more than 30 words today.
then too cold, so went back, and stoned. then webcammed friends and family which was like the best part! esp with ggg,j, and the tv. after that went to vb. went there waited till 8, oh nobody. asked reception if there was class she said yep at 9pm. so loiter around for 1h, so freaking bored. then 9pm..nobody there!.....9.15...nobody there! this is like the freaking second time i went there and waiting for something to start which doesn't.
then ok nvm went to take bus. then for some reason i just got of one stop after the park, which was not my stop. then idk what to do, and it was some ulu place and i was all alone and freaking cold =.= so pissed. and scared! considered walking but remembered it wasn't singapore. then next bus, 40min _|_ okay so wait 40min finally got on the bus. went back, and got lost in the uni. so dark and scary so started running! finally ran back home, and I'm not even finished. nobody to whatsapp nobody to text I'm so fking lonely and scared and i just wanna go home where i feel so comfortable.and where there is people to text, people to talk to. I'm just talking to myself, talking to the ducks all day and talking to the computer to talk to my friends and even my dog who doesn't even know I'm talking to her.
and to continue, i came back and on my light and it wouldn't on. and i use it as my night light....omg I'm so pissed I'm so depressed I'm like going crazy here! I'm so tired but i don't wanna sleep because i know i'll just keep dreaming of my home and ITS NOT A NICE DREAM ANYMORE.its just replay of the sad things that happened, gonna happen, all the memories i miss...everything that people at home can do and i can't! and i haven't seen anyone that went overseas to study as unhappy as me before. whats all this man...im so sick and tired of it!!! i just wanna go home man i wanna have a nice good night sleep, i wanna sleep on a bed with my pillows that is not hard, walk on a floor that isn't dirty, wash up in a toilet that does not have dust no matter how much i clean it, cook in a kitchen that is clean and smells nice,listen to music in a speaker plays music properly, talk to everybody and meet up as and when i like.
i really really really want to go back right now, like even on the weekends or something, idk, idc. comfort words...comfort texts arnt even enough although they do help. and the worst thing is I'm going through something that nobody at home have experienced. so nobody freaking understands enough how freaking hard is this man! i don't even wanna tell them because it'll be all that i'll talk about. i don't wanna tell my parents because i just don't like talking about this kinda stuff to them.i can't even tell jesse because she's not here. this is so pathetic. i don't know how I'm gonna stand all this know.it doesn't seem possible right now. 63 days. its only been 18 days....
i swear I'm going crazy here.
and mummy stop reading my blog because i need some privacy.
Signing off, mun.
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Thursday, January 19, 2012
「 bouncing away 3:15 AM 」
comfort please....?
january is like the month of crying now when i said goodbye, i cried when i boarded the plane, i cried when i saw jesse on webcam, i cried when glendas sent me photos of jesse, i cried when my dad went home, i cried when i dreamt of home i cried when my mum went home, i cried in the middle of the night, i cried
..now I'm here on my own, and i cry still waiting for the time where its all okay or maybe just the time when i can go back. or maybe just the time where i can finally stay in singapore with my family and friends how am i gonna get through 4 years of studying overseas, right now it just doenst seem possible, hoping that it will be soon
but every time i cry i try to remind myself that this is sorta what i choose, its my decisions that put me in the place that i am now, and i can only work forward from here. although nobody, or hardly anybody can understand how i feel right now, thats fine. people here rant feeling as homesick as i am somehow. also must constantly remind myself that I'm only a phone call, a Skype call oovoo call, whatsapp message, and 14h plane flight away from home. that actually seems like a long while for me. everyday i just feel like sitting in my room and crying my eyes out, but remember mun that a lot of money was spent on this and the only thing you can do right now is to work hard and repay them. and i can't wait for that day to come because i'd finally be able to repay all the love and effort that people around me have given to me, esp my family. i need to stop crying, just counting till the day where i won't be alone.
